I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
