He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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