He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
