OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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