is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
