his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
