Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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