Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm just crazy horny about you
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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