you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
