you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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