Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
