Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
