Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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