Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
