Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Text me some of your sweat
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
