I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
