whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i love accidental penises.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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