I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
