Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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