its not stalking. its research.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
