The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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