downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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