woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
