I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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