Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
