i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
