What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
