bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
