I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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