somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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