hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
There's even glitter on my cock...
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