He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
