oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
