and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I need a burrito and a hug.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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