if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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