I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
