this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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