do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
