Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
