well I can't set my house on fire every night
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
