i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
