I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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