do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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