You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
