the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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