last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
