ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
