Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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