I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize