No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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